Contemplation

I was around 20 year of age at the time. And I don't know from where it come from, it's like came out of the blue, my mind was bombed with so many question about life. I asked my self, why are you here? why have God sent you to this earth? Is Islam the right choice? Does God really exist? What is the purpose of your life?

It was such big big questions, some questions even made me feel guilty to think about, because I was born in Muslim family, with strong ritual activities, like every day after maghrib pray, we used to always read Qur'an together with all family members. Born within such a strong Islamic culture made me felt guilty to question about His existence. But then I justified it by think that God has created me with this brain, of course to be utilized, I thought God would be very disappointed in me if do not use my brain.

Those thoughts brought me to philosophy books, fortunately my brother studied this subject for his graduation so that it wasn't hard for me to fulfil my desire.

I was is in the contemplation for quite some time.

Until then I think and feel that the goal of my life is ‘to be beneficial for others’.

Since then every step I make, every act I do, every thought I think is ‘hopefully’ on that path.

After getting to know with psychology, than I come to know that what had happened to me was not a peculiar thing. Erik Eriksson said in his psychosocial theory that people under the young adulthood of age, will be there. The exact age is different person to person, to some it’s by their 20’s, 21, 22, 23. It depends on people’s moral maturity, and their life experiences.

How about you? When did it happen to you?