L O V E

Love is all actions that a person undertakes to promote happiness and growth in the being he or she loves. Jourard (1980).

Love is a feeling and behavior toward an entity, usually a person but also an idea or a thing (as in love of one’s country). It is intense or of high degree of passion.

Love includes the intense desire and acts intended for that entity’s well being or highest level of existence. The existence of the beloved is valued equal to that of the lover’s own.

Love includes the intention and desire to be present and intimately with that entity in almost all conditions.

Love in its fullest realization, it is experienced as required – the beloved carriers out similar feelings and acts for the lover.

Kinds of Love
John lee (in Jourard) identified three primary styles of loving :

Eros, a kind of love that search for the perfect lover
Ludus, a kind that view love as pleasant pastime
Storage, one that believe that love develops slowly and naturally

Factors Produce Error in Choosing The Love One

Chronic Needs. Individuals in hunger of particular needs will blindly seek for immediate satisfaction to fulfilled it. They do not remember that needs have layers, needs is like a ladder in which after you step on the first tap, the next tap is await. They do not realize he would have other needs and values that will become important when the present needs have been satisfied.

E.g. a girl who never felt the love of her father (because the father has passed away when she was a child) might search for a man with ‘the father’ criteria, she need father figure badly, after marrying the father figure she might than realize that having a partner whom you can discuss plenty of things is also an important thing.

Lack of Self-Knowledge. A person who is alienated from their self will not know what they need to make their self happy or to make them grow. They will give a wrong criteria for -the love to be- one. After marrying a woman for example, a man might suddenly think, ‘how can I marry this girl?’

Lack of Knowledge of The Loved One. Before married, people might think that they already know their boy friend or girl friend very well. But one should remember that on dating phase people tend to faking good, they tend to show only the positive side of their self, and this will not give enough knowledge about their self to their partner.

Before choosing your partner, examine yourself with the three factors above, may you will choose the right one. Remember! the right one doesn’t have to be the most.